QaR
(383)
life
(133)
self
(42)
love
(35)
living
(29)
Q&R
(24)
change
(23)
future
(21)
learning
(20)
world
(19)
creativity
(19)
friends
(19)
fun
(17)
poetry
(16)
childhood
(14)
nature
(13)
hope
(13)
lessons
(13)
values
(12)
photography
(12)
art
(11)
appreciation
(11)
memories
(11)
past
(11)
Family
(10)
November 2009 (8)October 2009 (18)September 2009 (6)August 2009 (6)July 2009 (8)June 2009 (8)May 2009 (15)April 2009 (13)March 2009 (25)February 2009 (17)January 2009 (24)December 2008 (20)November 2008 (40)October 2008 (46)September 2008 (34)August 2008 (30)July 2008 (26)June 2008 (33)May 2008 (39)April 2008 (26)March 2008 (37)February 2008 (24)January 2008 (34)December 2007 (28)November 2007 (33)October 2007 (32)September 2007 (18)
Susan #1
Forgiveness...
"Forgiveness is the scent that the rose leaves on the heel that crushes it."
~Anonymous
Help
Sign In
Access: Public
Not wise or insightful but that quote sticks to my heel.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” ~ Neil Gaiman
But it's all or nothing, Right?
Just do it..
~lars
Lars,
You are so good.
Yes. Just do it. You are right.
The forgiveness front is two fold. Two different people, two different situations.
One, has (stupidly enough) to do with a coffee pot.
The other has to do with overstepping boundaries.
It's time to lay down the sticks - time to let go of the defenses.
Thanks for the beautiful quote.
I had a photo to go along with the blog, but for some reason, it won't accept it. The quote is from Heemes. He posted it on John's blog. I borrowed it. Hope he doesn't mind.
Hugs!
-Susan
forgiveness is what abusive people ask for so they don't have to take responsibility for their actions that hurt people, so they can continue to deny that they are hurtful, so they can pretend it's okay. it's not okay. in a society without abuse, there would be no reason for forgiveness, no excuses for hurting other people, everyone would be responsible for the things they choose to do.
forgiveness is what history does when it denies the horrors of the past, when it lies about what really happened. we don't need to deny the past, you don't learn from your mistakes by pretending they don't exist. you learn from mistakes by admitting them, and choosing to never repeat the same mistakes again.
but strangely enough, larry's quote goes hand-in-hand with a poem i started working on yesterday, about love, and taking risks… but for me, and maybe it's just me (not many folks agree with my perspective on things) forgiveness does not factor in there at all.
susan, i don't know your situation at all. i was wandering through the qar answers and felt the urge to comment here on your blog.
don't forgive them. if somebody hurt you, they need to own responsibility for their actions, and make the conscious decision to not let that happen again. not to blame you for being hurt by them, and expecting your forgiveness for something that was not your decision to make.
your feelings are valid. if you feel hurt by someone else's actions, that is okay. that's how you feel. (how you express that hurt, can be hurtful in itself towards those who hurt you, that's not okay.) to forgive them the pain they caused you does not make it hurt any less. it won't make it ever okay. denial never helps anybody. forgiveness, to me, seems more like a form of denial than anything else. it's like how some certain religious people think they can do whatever they want to anyone else, so long as they confess it to the priest, that makes it all okay. it's not okay, forgiveness is just their excuse for doing the same things over and over again.
hell, i'm on a roll here… i posted on someone else's blog not too long ago… about how i repeatedly forgave my ex-husband, for the excessive drinking, and even the physical violence towards me. and every time i forgave him, he promised it would never happen again. and every time, i went back to him when he said that, and he kept doing all those things he said he wouldn't do again. it wasn't until i chose instead to not forgive him that the abuse finally stopped. this wasn't just for me, though. it most likely saved his life. had we both continued down that path of self-destruction, he most certainly would not be alive and well today.
forgiveness is simply another symptom of living in a diseased society, one that is based upon control and abuse. if people weren't hurtful to each other, forgiveness would make no sense. that people are so often hurtful to each other, and that they feel justified in doing so, so long as they ask forgiveness for their sins, that is what makes no sense to me.
edit to add:
it's long, but here's that other discussion i think pertains to this one… http://spirituallifedesign.gaia.com/blog/2009/5/what_secrets_do_you_hide_even_from_yourself#comments
<3