I would like to be the best photographer... maybe not the best in the world, but the best that I can be.  I'm working on getting there by photographing "stuff" whenever possible!

Mamma said there'd be days like this...

I didn't believe her.  Guess the joke's on me!  LOL!

     Wonder... it would be really hard for me to stop wondering about the magical world around me.  Sometimes I feel sorry for those who have to hear about the things that I wonder about, but I guess I'm just looking for answers... clarification... meaning.  Ahhhhhh... I love to wonder.  Right now I'm wondering about the kinds of things that YOU wonder about!

Testing.... one, two, three...
Is this thing on?
I know I've been away for a while.  I kinda lost my groove.
I'm back.
Trying to get back into the swim of things here.
I'm rough around the edges-
out of practice-
out of touch.
Are you still there... or did I lose you over time.
Just wondering!
Hugs!
-Susan

I usually give my best to every situation.  Call it commitment... call it being a fool.  It's just me.  All or nothing.  Somehow, that's just not good enough for some.  Wait.  How can that be?  I'm offering everything.  That's not good.  I offer you nothing.  That's not good either.  Maybe there is no way to offer just comme ci, comme ça... is THAT really good enough.  Not in my book!  Maybe I try too hard.  Striving for balance in places where I have no business trying to get the scales to pan out.  Hmmmm.... I wish I could learn how to just let things be.

You may wonder what's at the root of this.  There are actually several things.  First of all, I like the spirit of competition.  Not necessarily competing against another, but I enjoy finding a way to compete with myself.  For example.  I have a hobby.  I work at that hobby making tons of mistakes along the way.  I make mistakes and I learn.  I keep at it until I'm satisfied.  I may not be the best of the best, but I reach a point where I'm satisfied that I've done my personal best.  There may be a bit more room for improvement, but I've basically reached a point where I'm satisfied.

Today, on the train, I spoke about the county fair.  This weekend I am displaying some of my photographs at the fair.  This is my second go-round in a fair arena.  I thinks my friends find the whole idea to be hokey.  One of them has even rolled her eyes from time to time, but don't even let me go THERE.   For me, I get to see what others think about my work.  I'm a baby in the world of photography.  I have a million questions, and I'm still figuring out exactly how to see the world around me.  Seeing, looking and conveying are three different things.  I will be the first one to say that I am VERY "green", and that's not something that I hide.  ANYHOW... I merely stated that I intend on honing my photography skills this winter.  Working on it each day.  Trying to photograph whenever and wherever. 

You would have thought that I said I was going to walk to work naked.  My friends damn near busted a gut.  Hmmmm... I didn't think that I said something funny.  I thought back on what I said.  I hadn't mis-spoken.  I didn't tell them that my photos were going to win the biggest contest in the land.  I merely stated that I intended on honing my skills this winter.  Their reaction makes me want to try even harder.

That was this morning.  Fast forward to tonight...

I extend an olive branch to a friend.  Offering to put the past behind us - looking forward.  The response was really kind of a backhanded thank you and basically for lack of a better explanation, an answer like this "You can dip your foot in the pool but you can't have a swim..."  Thank you for moving forward, but my feet are firmly planted. 

I suppose my ego's just having a field day with me right now.  "Ha, ha.  The joke's on you... twice in one day!  Ha, ha... Sucka!"  Let go.  Breathing in I calm my body, breathing out I smile.  Letting go when I want to hold on.  Learning how to not let situations get the best of me.  Being the best that I can be in each moment... and being happy with that.  Tomorrow may present room for improvement, but I'm okay with that.
Thanks for listening.
Hugs!
-Susan

     I would welcome the children of the world... the little ones and the kids at heart.  It would be a safe place where everyone could just be a child... play childhood games and just be.  Laughter would be welcome as it is so good for the soul.  There would be no put downs or name calling.  Differences would be celebrated and not pointed out.  Children of ALL ages would be safe here.  Talking and playing... learning different customs and celebrating cultural differences would be life lessons about the fact that we are all people, we just do things differently.  Bring your child at heart, your favorite game and your sense of humor.  Everyone is welcome here.  Fred Rogers once said, "Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood."  I'm already on my way! C'mon... we've got some serious playing to do.  I'll meet you at the swings!

  

As I was getting back into the rhythm of taking the train after a summer off, I also had to get back into the rhythm of timing my walk to the train station.  One morning, I passed this sweet, little, old woman.  She was a tiny woman with white hair, glasses and bright red lipstick.  Not just any little, old woman... she had a spirited walk and there was something almost magical about her, something almost cartoonish like the grandma from the cartoon Sylvester, only she was shorter.  "Good Morning!" I said as I passed by her.  "Have a great day..."  I think I caught her off guard.  She smiled and replied "You too!"  Hmmm... I had never seen her before.  She was like a little ray of sunshine.  As my feet pounded the sidewalk in their regular rhythm, I thought about that sweet woman.  Who was she?  Was she new?  Where was she going?  I had never seen her before.

The next day, I saw the woman approaching me.  Same big smile, bright red lipstick, HUGE sunglasses and the cutest, little, round straw hat.  "Good Morning", I said.  She returned the salutation and then she stopped me.  "You're beautiful!", she said strongly.  She had taken me off guard.  I thanked her and told her that I thought that she was also beautiful... she really was.  She then went on to ask me where I was going and what I did.  Then, with a twinkle in her eye and an itch in her step, she sprang into motion when she said "I'm going to choich!"  I laughed.  She was so spirited!  We said goodbye and have a great day and then never saw each other again.

I wonder what her story is.  I really wanted to get to know here like I had gotten to know Karen, Keith, Jose and others that crossed my path each day.  Each day, when the sidewalk hangs a right by the bank, I hold my breath for a moment... waiting... anticipating... will she be there today?  I slowly exhale when she isn't.  She was there for a reason... a little ray of sunshine to start my year off on the right note.
I hope a little ray of sunshine finds its way to you today.
Hugs!

Prejudice changed to acceptance.  Acceptance with understanding and celebration for that which distinguishes us from one another.  Yeah... that sounds nice!

The most smoothing or calming music for me is the music that only nature can provide:
     The whispering of the wind
Crackling leaves
          Dancing reeds
The marsh as it breathes during the winter
     Laughing gulls
                Trumpeting swans
The pitter-pattering of raindrops
     A meowing cat and her infectious purr
Spring peepers
              Calling bullfrogs
       An owl's song
The pounding surf... ebb and flow
            A brassy Jay crying "thief!"
Children's laughter
                    Water as it trips and trails
A chirping cricket
     The call of a loon
Whispering pines
              The splash of a jumping fish
          A chattering squirrel
Crackling fire
                "Katy did!  Katy did!  Katy did!"
Peeping chicks
     I can drink in these sounds and calm myself.  Everything that I need to turn a bad day around, is outside of my window.  Mother Nature didn't forget a single detail.  She's got a sound for every situation and I can center myself when I take the time to drink the sounds into my soul.

     My sister-in-law forwarded an email to me today.  I was saddened by what I saw.  I had gotten this particular email forward before, and a similar disappointment bubbled up in me then.  I replied to eveyone who had recieved the email.  I got some hate mail in return, and it kind of frightened me.
     Fast forward to today... a few years later, same email, same message of hate.  I could have stayed silent, but I didn't.  Here is the email and my response:
 
THIS IS A MUST READ & FORWARD E-MAIL

USPS New 44-Cent Stamp!!!   Celebrates the MUSLIM holiday If there is only ONE thing you forward today.... let it be this! REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of Pan Am Flight 103! REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993! REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the Marine Barracks in Lebanon ! REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the military Barracks in Saudi Arabia ! REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the American Embassies in Africa ! REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the USS COLE! REMEMBER the MUSLIM attack on 9/11/2001 ! REMEMBER all the AMERICAN lives that were lost in those vicious MUSLIM attacks! Now the United States Postal Service REMEMBERS and HONORS the EID MUSLIM holiday season with a new commemorative 44 Cent First Class Holiday Postage Stamp.. REMEMBER to adamantly & vocally BOYCOTT this stamp, when you are purchasing your stamps at the post office. All you have to say is "No thank you, I do not want that Muslim Stamp on my letters!" To use this stamp would be a slap in the face to all those AMERICANS who died at the hands of those whom this stamp honors. REMEMBER ~ pass this along to every CHRISTIAN and/or Patriotic AMERICAN that you know and lets get the word out!!!   Here is something to chew on... They (MUSLIMS) don't even believe in Christ, & they're getting their own Christmas stamp!  BUT, don't dare to dream of posting the ten commandments on federal property! This is truly UNBELIEVABLE!!!

I responded this way:
Let us all remember that in EVERY part of the world, in EVERY religion, race, ethnic group, etc., there are radical people who do radical things.  Those radical people may give us a bad taste in our mouths, but they are not chosen representatives of the group as a whole... they are radicals who have decided to take things into their own hands, and often times things have gotten out of hand and out of control.  For example:
Hitler, radical German
Stalin, radical Russian
Jeffrey Dhamer, radical American
Tim McVeigh, radical American
Mussolini, Radical Italian
Theodore John Kaczynski (AKA the unabomber), radical American
Kim Jong-il, radical Korean
Osama Bin Laden, radical Muslim
Sadam Hussein, radical Muslim
Lest we not forget our own Catholic priests who have abused their powers...  

I think I have safely driven home my point.  You can NOT boycott one particular group of humans because of the actions of one or more radicals that belong to that group.

 I deal with Muslim people every day.  They are as kind and gentle as my own family members.  Eid is a very important and special holiday for Muslim people.  It is a period of time which marks the end of Ramadan.  During Ramadan, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds.
  

Muslims around the world have a lunar calendar, which moves holidays around the calendar over a number of years. In 2001 and 2002, Ramadan was celebrated at the dark time of the year, close to other festivals of light. Each calendar year the Festival begins earlier, so that a few years from now, Ramadan will be at the height of the summer.

Ramadan is not a celebration of literal light, but of spiritual light. It is the month of fasting from dawn to sundown, one of the five pillars of Islam, a mandatory act of faith. Ramadan is meant to remind people of the blessings of food; of the spiritual benefits of refraining from food, water and sex for the daytime hours of this holy month. Food is to be donated to the poor, to widows and orphans.

The stamp that the USPS put out, is one of a series commemorating and celebrating different holidays.  The stamp was introduced in 2001, with a value of 34 cents.  Snopes has an excellent write-up about the stamp.  You can read it here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/stamps/eidstamp.asp.  

I do not mean this response to the email as an attack, rather, I just wanted to say that I feel such emails only breed ill feelings and promote the notion that the actions of a few taint the reputations of all.   

Please, remember to stay human. 
"Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care and kindness of our parents, and then later on in our life when we are oppressed by sickness and become old, we are again dependent on the kindness of others. Since at the beginning and end of our lives we are so dependent on other´s kindness, how can it be in the middle that we would neglect kindness towards others?"  ~ the Dalai lama
Hugs!
-Susan

     I have underestimated myself, but who hasn't?  I think I have underestimated strangers the most.  Sometimes it is easy to forget that clothes don't make the man.  It doesn't really boil down to what you look like or how you dress, but what's inside that really counts.  There have been times when I've almost written someone off, but when I've gotten to know that person, I'm glad that I did.  Everyone has something to contribute.  Some may contribute rocket science, while others contribute a smile.  Each contribution is part of the bigger picture.  Up close, they are merely pixels but far away, the pixels combine to create the view... the bigger picture.  The bigger picture sends out a message.  Unity and simplicity of people as they mix and mingle.  We create pictures as we flow and mix and interact.  Take time to look at the pixels around you today.  See what they may be contributing to the larger picture ~ not forgetting your own pixel as well!

Almost never.  I'm somewhere between 5 and 25 and everywhere inbetween and it's great!
:-)
Wanna play?!?

Those tiles,
     they sit.
Ready to be mailed, unsent.
           Poetry in a box.
   Words
        on little magnets
                waiting to be scrambled
  and played with and arranged.
Poetry in a box...
      sitting in my trunk.
            In an envelope -
                 addressed and ready to go-
                     hoping to be scrambled and played with 
and arranged.
      Maybe it's time for ME 
                         to take my words back.
                   To own them and make them mine-
                         once again.
Poetry in a box
      meant once for you
                     Now, calling my name.
Perhaps, part of its plan...
           For me to play, instead of you.
                                       I'm taking my words back.
                     It has been a long time.
Probably too long.
                     I will play 
                       with poetry...
                          in
                               a
                                   box.

Oddly enough, when I first read this question, I wanted to say that power makes me feel weak.  I think that power is a double-edged sword and it should be used very carefully.

Laughter.  Laughter is easy for me.

     Give me a moment and I'll make it my stage... I love to be myself, and in doing so, I give myself the freedom to just be.  I play many different parts in this one man gig I call my life.  As a teacher, I'm always changing hats, exiting stage right and entering stage left.  There's so much going on and the world's my stage.  I can be goofy and that's okay.  I suppose I'm like Tigger.  The bottom line has to do with fun!  Whatever the role or the task, when you add a spoonful of fun, then everything looks better and is better.  Wanna' play?

 

With a place like Gaia, the friends in my life, a wonderful family and a job that I truly love, how could I not consider myself to be fortunate?!?  Yes, I am fortunate.  No, I could not possibly put it all into words.

My friend, Laura, was down in the dumps lately.  She started making a list of 10 things that make her happy... every day.  Seems like a good idea, and I'm using it as a springboard for getting my Gaia groove back!

1. It's Halloween, and as you may know by now, I love to design and wear my own Halloween creations!

2. My favorite Auntie Lolo was born on this day.  She died in September, but she will always live in my heart.  October 31st was the perfect day for her to have as her day of birth.

3. The smell of Karl's fresh, homemade bread as it bakes.  Yum!  I can't wait until it has finished baking and cools off a bit.  It's going to taste so delicious with a dab of butter and some of my homemade strawberry jam on it!

4. I loved seeing tons of children dressed up in the mall today!  It was noon, and the little kids were trick-or-treating in the mall.  Too cute!

5. It's kind of a windy day here in CT.  I like the sound of the leaves as they chase one another and dance around as they play in the wind.

6. It's 69 degrees on the last day of October.  Simply heavenly.

7. I was able to sleep in until 7:00 this morning.  That's really late for me!

8. I got a letter from Jeff today.  He's doing well.  It's always nice to hear from him.

9. My niece and nephew LOVED the book that I sent them for Halloween!  Gotta' love those 3 and 4 year-olds!

10. I'm having a good hair day... especially with all this wind we're having.  THAT'S a bonus.  A little bit-o-wind can make me look like Medusa!  LMAO!

11. Day one of my list and I've got 11 things on it... B.B. makes the list for being herself and for being there!

Hope you can think of some things that make you happy today.
Hugs!
-Susan