Intersecting Lives

Saturday afternoon, just as the super fine snow had begun to fly, Karl and I met Kevin at the beach in Milford.  We wanted to see if we could squeeze in a few shots before things got too snowy.  We shot photos for a half-hour or so and decided to call it quits.  Karl and I were no more than 2 1/2 miles away from home when the accident happened.  Our car was struck by an 18 year-old driver who could not stop at his stop sign.  He drove out into my lane and struck my car.  A car was passing me in the other lane at the time, and I knew swerving was out of the question.  I could see a telephone pole and a bunch of trees up ahead.  I braced myself, blew the horn and accepted the fact that my car was being smashed into by another car.  All kinds of emotions rushed to the surface, and I am still an emotional wreck about the whole incident.  No one was hurt, thank goodness. 

Karl and I took it easy today.  We went and saw the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  It was easily a 3 Kleenex film.  The following scence made me think...

In the movie, Benjamin Button says "Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it.  But life being what it is - a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone's control."  That got me thinking.  Sometimes I feel like I am on a collision course... out of control with life- feeling it running away with me and sometimes from me.  There have been plenty of times that I have been able to skirt an accident.  There are plenty of times that I have been a few minutes off... just enough to avoid danger.

Why were things different this time?  Who knows.  I'm pretty sure there's a message for me in this.  Life is short.  I know that.  I try to make the most of each day that I'm given.  I think this is a message about letting go.  Letting go of the anger that I have allowed to eat me alive.  At one point in the movie, Benjamin says "You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went; you can swear and curse the fates - but when it comes to the end, you have to let go."

I think it's crazy that it took a car accident, and me getting really angry about it, for me to realize that in the end, I have to let go... I have to let go of so much of my past... so much of my anger in order for me to be able to go forward.  Here I am.  Letting go and trusting that as I move forward, I will have no use for anger.  I know that I can change or remain the same.  I can honestly say that it's time for me to change.  I've had enough of being on a collision course.  I'm changing my coordinates.  Making the best of a bad situation, I'm leaving my anger behind with all of the broken pieces of my car.  Intersecting lives - a car crash and a release of anger.  Who knew it could be so liberating?