I am a connoisseur of details.  I love noticing things that have gone unappreciated, overlooked, forgotten, never discovered...  Details give my imagination food... food for thought... food for wonder... food for creativity.  I crave taking in all of the details from the world around me.

THE SPIDER AND THE FLY "Will you walk into my parlor ?" said the spider to the fly; "'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy. The way into my parlor is up a winding stair, And I have many curious things to show when you are there." "Oh no, no," said the little fly; "to ask me is in vain, For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."   "I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high. Will you rest upon my little bed ?" said the spider to the fly. "There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin, And if you like to rest a while, I'll snugly tuck you in !" "Oh no, no," said the little fly, "for I've often heard it said, They never, never wake again who sleep upon your bed!" Said the cunning spider to the fly: "Dear friend, what can I do To prove the warm affection I've always felt for you ? I have within my pantry good store of all that's nice; I'm sure you're very welcome---will you please to take a slice ?" "Oh no, no," said the little fly; "kind sir, that cannot be: I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!" "Sweet creature!" said the spider, "you're witty and you're wise; How handsome are your gauzy wings; how brilliant are your eyes ! I have a little looking-glass upon my parlor shall; If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself." "I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you're pleased to say, And, bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."   The spider turned him round about, and went into his den, For well he knew the silly fly would soon come back again: So he wove a subtle web in a little corner sly, And set his table ready to dine upon the fly; Then came out to his door again, and merrily did sing: "Come hither, hither, pretty fly, with pearl and silver wing; Your robes are green and purple; there's a crest upon your head; Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead !"   Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little fly, Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by; With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew, Thinking only of her brilliant eyes and green and purple hue, Thinking only of her crested head. Poor, foolish thing! at last Up jumped the cunning spider, and fiercely held her fast; He dragged her up his winding stair, into the dismal den-- Within his little parlor--but she ne'er came out again! And now, dear little children, who may this story read, To idle, silly, flattering words I pray you ne'er give heed; Unto an evil counselor close heart and ear and eye, And take a lesson from this tale of the spider and the fly. ~MARY HOWITT

    
     As summer was drawing to an end and as autumn was being welcomed, I discovered that three garden spiders had decided to call the front walkway area of my condo, "home".  As you can see from this photo, the web detail is amazing.  What is even more fascinating to me, is the fact that the actual "spinning" of the web seems to be a carefully calculated system of laying out a basic framework and then filling it in with smaller and smaller rows of web.  Each web is almost exactly spaced out... I enjoyed watching the spiders as they spun their webs each evening.



     This photo shows the spider web detail... the spider is waiting for a tasty treat. 



     My daughters have developed a healthy respect for the spiders.  The girls became fond of a spider last summer, and I blogged about their relationship with one particular spider who had made her home in our front bushes.  This year was no different.  The girls watched me as I photographed the webs and studied the spiders.  We all knew the spiders made new webs each night. 

     One night, the girls and Karl went to the store.  I heard Karl's truck pull into the driveway.  I stepped out onto the front stoop... waiting for everyone to fill me in on how the store was.  My oldest daughter was the first one down the front walkway.  All of a sudden, she began to scream.  Her screams were full of terror and there was no stopping them! 

     Evidently, she had walked into one of the anchor lines for the spider web.  She was hitting herself in the head and screaming "Is it on me?  ISSSSSSS the spider on mmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee?  Get it Oooooooooffffffff meeeeeeeeeee!"  It wasn't on her.  She pulled her sweatshirt over her head and threw it on the sidewalk in a ball.  She was convinced that the spider WAS ON HER.  I tried to comfort her.  Nothing.  The screams continued.  Nothing I could say our do meant anything.  I had to put my hand over her mouth in order for her to calm down.  The spider was nowhere to be found... she wasn't stupid.  She was hiding deep in the bushes... probably watching and wondering what was going on!

     As for Karl and my younger daughter, they were still around the corner.  My little one heard the screams and she immediately latched onto Karl's leg and wouldn't let go.  She wasn't sure WHAT her sister had encountered, but she didn't want to find out.  Things eventually got ironed out and my daughter realized that the spider wasn't on her and that the spider meant her no harm.  Spiders prefer insects for dinner... we all know that!

     Isn't is odd, sometimes, how people become like the spider and the fly?  Easily lured into the web with some smoke, mirrors and empty promises?  Can it be that wily, flattering words and promises of warm affection should ensnare us that easily?  Are we really that naive and do we really lack good judgement?  Do we really set ourselves up to be so easily swept off our feet that we wonder what the hell happened later on?  You see, in the poem, the fly knew right from wrong.  She showed that over and over again.  Yet, upon personal flattery, the fly became weak.  The spider had won her over... he had massaged her ego in just the right way, and even though she knew better, he eventually got the best of her!  He dined upon her heart and drained it dry.

     So dear friends, the last part of the poem is true:
"To idle, silly, flattering words I pray you ne'er give heed;
Unto an evil counselor close heart and ear and eye..."
Always follow your own heart, listen to your own gut-
To thine own self be true...
lest you end up
a feast for others at your own expense. 

     There is a room inside my heart that holds little, tiny fragments of what home means... I am home when my family is together in one place... home is that modest cape on the cul-de-sac where I grew up... that cool bedroom that was "mine" - the bedroom with the nooks and crannies - just like an English muffin - the bedroom that still had its original carpet and safe appeal.  Home is in Berlin wtih my Oma and in Munich with Udo and Rosi and in Augsburg with my Dad.  Home is my condo... with two cats, two ferrets, two girls, three fish, one tarantula, one aquatic frog and Karl.  Home is the way my Mom smells when I'm giving her a hug  For me though, home always comes back to that room inside my heart... memories, dreams, thoughts... never very far away - comforting me duing the sad times and making me smile when my spirits are high.

The size of the future you actually experience will largely be determined by one factor: the people you choose to connect with. When you invite people who are truly committed to growth into every aspect of your life, your own potential for growth becomes truly unlimited.

~Dan Sullivan

That some people really believe that the world revolves around them and around their every movement...

     People (myself included) tend to throw the word "love" around.  "I love this cake.  I love your sweater.  I love this song."  I've even heard the words "I love you" thrown around as of late.  Keeping this in mind, let's take a look at the three main types of love and really stop to think about them for a minute.

The 3 Types of Love

There are three types of love:

1) Eros love - known as "erotic love". It is based on strong feelings toward another. It usually occurs in the first stages of a man-woman "romantic" relationship.

This love is based more on physical traits. Say a person says he has "fallen in love" for a woman, because "she looked like an angel" (sheesh). Or a woman "falls in love" for a guy because he is intelligent, has good breeding, etc.

The weakness with this type of love is obvious. It is based more on "self-benefit", of what can benefit you rather than the other person. This is "I love you because it feels good, and makes ME happy loving you." See? The keyword is the word "ME".

When that person doesn't "feel happy" anymore in loving that person, she/he is led to believe that she/he has "fallen out of love". Actually, there was never "true love" in the first place. The fact is, love by feelings alone cannot be called "true love" simply because they do not know each other that much yet.

Two people feel this strong emotional attraction towards one another, though they barely really know about each other's personalities. A person usually puts her/his best foot forward, showing only her/his good side. In order to be sure if "true love" exists, two people must know and accept each others' good and bad traits.

Furthermore, they must have gone through a lot of time with each other, going through BOTH joys and sorrows, pains and pleasures, and still end up together. A lot of sacrifice towards each other is therefore essential.

It is love that is untested by hardships, and therefore may or may not last in the long-term. It may or may not develop into a higher form of love - philos love. Eros love can only succeed in the long-term if it progresses into a higher form of love. Otherwise, it will not last.

The romantic feeling common in "eros love" is natural, and an important part of a relationship between a man and a woman. Romance also plays a role in strengthening the bonds, especially at the start of a relationship. This is part of God's plan.

What we need to be careful of is assuming a relationship must be "real love" just because it is romantic, because all we feel is happiness. As with most anything in life, we must learn to use both our heart and mind to judge if something is real.

Be careful also of being in love with the "concept of love" itself, rather than for who the person is. TV. movies, media has "romanticized" so much, it is often hard to see reality from fiction.

You must love a person for her/his uniqueness, not because you simply want to feel the joy of "being in love." Such a love is concerned more with the "self" rather than the partner.

Over-relying on pure emotion without the balance of logic is a recipe for failure.


2) Philos love - a love based on friendship between two people.

It is true that two lovers that start out by being friends first before becoming partners usually are the relationships that last more, long-term.

Friendship is the foundation of a successful relationship. This is true whether it is marriage, or boyfriend-girlfriend, relationship betweeen family members, relationship with co-workers, employer, etc.

In the case of a man-woman romantic relationship, the advantage is you get to know each other first, before committing to a more serious relationship above friendship.

You start out as friends, then admire each other, then possibly strong emotions can suddenly appear over time and you both realize you miss each other more. It takes time, and is patient (love is patient, love is kind!).

This is in contrast to a man-woman romantic relationship which starts out by "eros love", meaning you get attracted by physical/mental traits alone. Strong emotions start almost immediately (some would even say "love at first sight"), though you do not even know each other that much.

With eros love, you see only each other's strengths/good side, everything is rosy, mushy feeling of happiness, etc. Again, you cannot judge "real love" between two people based on strong emotions alone.

Philos love is a love based on "give-and-take", where two people benefit each other in a mutual way. One partner is still concerned with what she/he can take, but at the same time is also concerned with her/his partner's benefit and therefore gives back in return.

Therefore, philos is a higher type of love than eros. Philos love is a mutual, "give-and take" relationship, while eros love is a self-based, form of love that is more concerned with the "self" or self-benefit.

Like eros love, philos love must develop into a higher form of love, the highest love of all - "agape" or unconditional love.


3) Agape - unconditional love

The third and highest type of love is "agape", or unconditional love.

Agape love is above philos love and eros love. It is a love that is totally selfless, where a person gives out love to another person even if this act does not benefit her/him in any way. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love (even without any self-benefit).

Say, you help out a person, even though that person hates you and curses you. Or you take insults from your partner without hitting back, all the while forgiving and praying for your partner to amend her/his ways. Or the famed "unconditional love" that a mother has for her child (her child will always be the most beautiful child in the world to her, even with a face only a mother could love!).

Or the love we show our parents, taking care of them and helping them in their old age. Just like they took care of us when we were young, it is done with or without benefit in return.

However, the highest type of agape love is not human at all, but divine - God's unconditional love for us, His children.

First Corinthians 13:4-8 provides a perfect description for agape : "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

In essence, eros love is "physical", philos love is "mental", and agape love is "spiritual". Thus, it is made up of the three fundamental elements of man: physical, mental and spiritual.

* Information from Seeker of Truth

Just a little bit of food for thought.  What do you think?
Hugs!
-Susan 

It doesn't matter what your political stance is... this is very funny!
Enjoy!
:-)
How about a train metaphor ...

And
of course, W =

Friends,
It's time for me to let you in on a little secret!
Please don't hate me, but I'm rich.  Just last week, the folks over in Nigeria contacted me to let me know that they have a million US dollars with my name on them.  I just simply need to provide them with all of my bank information along with a copy of my drivers license AND a copy of my passport.  Simple!  Consider it done.

Then, just last night, I got an email offering me bigger penis.  Hmmmmmm... since I don't have my OWN penis, it sounds like a pretty good deal....

Bad things come in threes, but does the same hold true for good things?  I have to think that it does...  I was just informed that I won 850 thousand British pounds in the lottery... I just need to contact the office to claim my prize.  They are even going to send it to me via certified bank check.  Can't go wrong with certified funds.

So, my dear friends.  Even though the DJI is currently down 385.26 points (4.49%), I don't need to worry a bit... I've got all kinds of cash flowing in... and even if I should lose all of that money or even if the market hits rock bottom, I'm okay with that.  I think that you fellow Gaians and the friendships that I have forged here are worth more than all the money in the world.
Hugs!
-Susan

Since today is my birthday, I got to thinking about that old children’s poem:

Monday's child is fair of face;
Tuesday's child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe;
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving;
Saturday's child works hard for a living.
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day
is fair and wise, good and gay


Tuesday’s child is full of grace. 38 years ago today, I was born on a Tuesday. The moon was a waxing gibbous – actually in the same exact phase, two days before the full moon as it is this year. My father always wanted a daughter named Susan, and there I was… a mid October baby.

Hmmm… grace… What does the word grace really mean? Definitions of grace on the Web:

• (Christian theology) a state of sanctification by God; the state of one who is under such divine influence; "the conception of grace developed ...

• elegance and beauty of movement or expression; "a beautiful figure which she used in subtle movements of unparalleled grace"

• seemliness: a sense of propriety and consideration for others; "a place where the company of others must be accepted with good grace"

• a disposition to kindness and compassion; "the victor's grace in treating the vanquished"

• (Greek mythology) one of three sisters who were the givers of beauty and charm; a favorite subject for sculptors

• a short prayer of thanks before a meal; "their youngest son said grace"

• decorate: make more attractive by adding ornament, colour, etc.; "Decorate the room for the party"; "beautify yourself for the special day"

• deck: be beautiful to look at; "Flowers adorned the tables everywhere"

• (Christian theology) the free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God; "God's grace is manifested in the salvation of sinners"; "there but for the grace of God go I"

My head is spinning… let me dig a little deeper.
What does full of grace mean? I turned to the internet to find out!

One site said “You have many talents and are fun to be around. You dance through life.” Well, the first half may be true, but the second… if you ever saw the way I dance, you’d know they have THAT wrong!

Another website says the following:
“Tuesday’s child is full of grace.. “ Do they mean physically graceful or full of goodwill, consideration and mercy? What did the word "grace" mean back when this was written.

Being that this poem was originally used to teach children the days of the week and that religion was important at the time (evidenced by the use of Sabbath day instead of Sunday), I would guess that grace had something to do with the "grace of god". Therefore it probably implied goodwill, consideration and mercy. Perhaps even the blessing and protection of God.

Yet another:
Though uncertain, the traits assigned to each given day probably parallel traits assigned to planets, the Sun, and the Moon represented by various Gods in Norse, Roman, and Greek mythology.

Tuesday's child is full of grace. (Tues=Týr, Norse 'God of War' related to the Roman Mars and most likely referring to physical grace, not social or spiritual grace).

Okay, so I’m full of grace. Good thing my parents didn’t name me “Grace”, or else I’d be full of myself. LOL! I think I’ll stick with goodwill, consideration and mercy. Those are good things to be full of. If you can’t remember what day you were born on, you can look it up here on the Perpetual Calendar .   I’d love to know what day of the week you were born on and what you think of it.

I'm inspired by the fact that there is so much hope in the world.

Hello friends!
I stumbled upon an interesting blog written by my friend Vi.  I have known here for about a year now.  She had posted a message in her own handwriting, and I thought that was a cool idea.  I promised to post this... enjoy!

Fear of showing a sign of weakness and vulnerability...
As you may know, I am a teacher.  When I taught fourth grade, I stumbled upon a book called Faithful Elephants by Yukio Tsuchiya. 

From Publishers Weekly
A zookeeper narrates the story of how there came to be graves at the zoo: when Tokyo was showered with bombs during the bleak days of World War II, the authorities feared that if the zoo were destroyed, the animals might accidentally be freed and wreak havoc on the city. So they decided that all the zoo animals would be killed. But the elephants wouldn't eat the poisonous food they were offered, and the needles in the syringes containing poison broke before they could penetrate the elephants' rough skin. So the elephants were starved to death, a slow and painful process watched by the zookeepers who loved them. An upsetting story for children or adults, this powerfully conveys the deadly side effects of war.

I have read the book to my class every year, and every year I come to a point where I stop.  I look at the class, apologize and say that I have to stop reading.  The emotions are just too great for me.  The children are silent.  So silent, as a matter of fact, that you could almost hear heartbeats!  "Please continue."  They beg.  I always do... my voice wavers, my face turns red and tears stream down my face.  Now, if you know me, you would know that I hold my head high, I have a hearty laugh, I am loud... and you would probably view me as a strong person.  When I cry, the students cry too.  The story is just that sad, but it is important to hear how war hurts everyone...  After I read the story, and all of the tears have been wiped away, the whispers are always the same.  "She cried!  Did you see her?  She really cried.  Jeeze.  I didn't know she could cry!" 

The first time I heard the children, I was a little taken aback by their response... afterall, I am human.  It occured to me that children rarely see their teacher cry.  I suppose it has something to do with the fact that we are adults and they are children, but the first time I read that story to my class, and I started to cry, I felt a little bit vulnerable.  When I closed the book and looked at their tear stained faces as they were looking at mine, I realized that they did understand and that it was okay.  They were feeling the same sorrow that I was, and that made the sorrow different.  Often times, the students borrow the book to bring home.  They share its message with their loved ones. 

Sorrow is such an intimate emotion.  I don't share it with just anyone because if it isn't understood, I wouldn't want my feelings to be easily dismissed as being over emotional. 

I have tossed this about for a few days.  Today's Q&R brought the answer to light.  I have always worn my heart and my emotions on my sleeve.  Living that way can be pretty intense, but I am also aware of how alive I really am. 

     Germany, the place of my roots.  Part of my heart no longer belongs to me... I lost it across the Atlantic Ocean in Germany.  It's not a sad loss, but a happy one.  Sometimes I have a little pain in my heart, and I know that pain is coming from a longing to return to the beautiful "Fatherland".  A longing to visit certain places... to eat my grandmother's apfel kuchen, schnitzle and potato salad... just to be hugged by my Oma... to receive an impish smile from my uncle... to see my dad.  Yes, I will forever be drawn to Germany and I shall return.  In the meantime, I will savor each and every one of my memories from the time I have spent there.

Here, there and everywhere... mostly in places where the good stuff is hiding...

Sorrow makes me feel empty.  It makes my body ache.  Happiness makes me feel alive.  I suppose that's why people call me "The Caffienator" at work.  It really has nothing to do with the amount of coffee in me (I only have one a day).  It has to do with the fact that I'm full of energy.  Being happy makes me feel that way... vibrant!

That I don't like it, but sometimes it's a hidden blessing.  :-)

This is going to sound weird... 
My father has a dental bridge in his mouth.  He is missing two permanent teeth... the same tooth on the right and left side of the bottom jaw.  When it came time for me to get braces, the dentist realized that I am also missing that tooth, but only on the left-hand side.  The tooth was pulled (because that's what they did in the 80's, and they gave me a bridge, too.  Interesting.  It gets better.  A few years ago, my brother was visiting for Thanksgiving.  He was complaining about a tooth problem, and mentioned that he had to visit the dentist.  He went on to say that he had one baby tooth that had never fallen out.  That tooth had finally broken and needed to be removed.  I stared at him.  "Is it this tooth?"  I asked as I pointed to my own "special" tooth.  "How did you know?"  he asked.  I laughed.  It turns out that the missing tooth thing is genetic on my father's side of the family.  My grandmother is missing the one tooth, my dad is missing both teeth, my brother and I are missing the one tooth, and my eldest daughter is missing both teeth.  I am interested to see if my younger daughter has the same trait.  I'm pretty sure she has it, too.   I think that's pretty unique, don't you?
Hugs!
-Susan

Eli posted a beautiful blog about the Hindu Festival of Lights called Diwali or Deepawali.  Please check it out to learn more.  I am taking away a lot more than just this, but I think this is really important:  

Wow...  If only we could live our lives like that.  Just a little food for thought.  For those of you who celebrate, Happy Diwali! 
  

There is a new boy in Kindergarten.  His name is Adonis.  The children in the class are confused.  They keep on calling him "Epidermis"!  LOL!  Sometimes children say the funniest things. 
Have a great day.
Hugs!
-Susan

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

~Albert Schwietzer

I am thankful for those of you who have been a source of light during my times of personal darkness.  Thank you for being there for me.  Thank you for being the catalyst... rekindling my light with a spark.  I hope I can be there for you in your time of darkness.  Thank you for being a friend.
Hugs!
-Susan

No need to "keep" busy... I AM busy by nature.
:-)

I loved this song the first time I heard it, and still do.

     When the evening shadows and the stars appear
     And there is no one to dry your tears
     I could hold you for a million years
     To make you feel my love 

     The storms are raging on a rolling sea 
     And on the highway of regret
     The winds of change are blowing wild and free 
     You ain't seen nothing like me yet...

Yesterday, I was fortunate to grab a little Susan time.
I ran a few errands, tooled around in the car a bit
and kept focusing my attention on the beautiful skyline...
the sun and the clouds were arranged beautifully.
If only I could find a way to catch the view devoid of 
electrical wires, trees, buildings and telephone poles!
I drove on...
Skirting a small airport, I came to wetlands.  I followed the road...
It brought me to a small beach.
Perfect, I thought.
I grabbed my camera and left my car and my cell phone behind.
I squatted down and snapped a few photos.
I allowed my senses to soak in the scene.  I heard gulls laughing... the rhythmic beat of the waves.  The sand gave way to my shoes as I hunkered down... waiting for the perfect shot.  Some sand snuck into my shoes.
I spied a lone fisherman... gulls darted all around him.
Maybe he had some tasty snacks in his bucket!


One gull wasn't afraid of me.  He stood and watched.  Of course, I coaxed him.
He listened to my quiet talk and he posed.


The sun was tangled up in the clouds.  There was a storm brewing to the right... clear, cloudless skies to the left. 
The Long Island Ferry was returning to the Connecticut shores.
She quietly passed through my scene... adding character.


Time was slipping away, but for me, it was standing still.
I didn't feel the cold or the wind as it tossed my hair.
My eyes were on the sky.
Susan time felt good and the sunset was a feast for my soul.
The sun was getting lower and lower in the sky. 
It was now like fire in the sky...
the colors were intense.


I snapped a few more photos.  Tons of lady's slipper shells littered the beach.
They were everywhere.  For a moment the beach looked staged to me.
I chuckled. 
Everything was perfect...
just the way nature wanted it to be...


As I snapped the last photos,
serenity washed over me
and as I turned to leave...
I did not think about the sand in my shoe
or the fact that I had dodged being bombarded by seagull poop...
I smiled 
with the knowledge that 
I
had been blessed
with an
amazingly, 
breath-taking
gift
that only nature
could 
offer...